


Because it's not that simple.

by cammyohcammy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dates, Denial, M/M, Sibling Incest, building up a relationship, fluff at the end, idk what else to tag, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 15:34:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/941625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cammyohcammy/pseuds/cammyohcammy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As if things couldn't get more complicated for him, and as if there couldn't possibly be anything else that's "not that simple," Dean fell in love with his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because it's not that simple.

**Author's Note:**

> First wincest. Be kind.  
> I do not own SPN or any of its characters and everything in this story is untrue (unfortunately).  
> This fic contains sibling incest but that's okay cause you probably already know that but hey don't say I didn't warn you if it isn't your cup of tea and you didn't read the Dean/Sam pairing up top???  
> HOWEVER, if it is, read and enjoy!

Dean was about nine years old when he asked his dad why they can't just stop hunting and live a normal life like everybody else. It was after a hunt in Detroit, a successful one, and John was driving home and he nearly drove off the side of the road when he heard his son ask such a question. John didn't answer immediately, and at first Dean thought that he didn't hear him. But after five minutes of driving in silence, John answered, "because it's not that simple." Adding nothing more, Dean nodded and dropped the subject. Being nine years old, he didn't understand what he meant. To nine year olds, everything was simple. Nothing was complex or needed much thought. But as Dean grew older, it became much clearer to him what that meant exactly. And he didn't learn it the easy way, either.

Fast forward seventeen or so years, Dean and his brother Sammy took on the family business and fought monsters and, ultimately, saved the world. As much as Dean wanted to live the dream of when he was nine years old and stop hunting and live a normal life, that wasn't an option. Not even something to consider.

And as if things couldn't get more complicated for him, and as if there couldn't possibly be anything else that's "not that simple," Dean fell in love with his brother.

It didn't happen all at once. Drunk make out sessions that got harder and harder to forget about the next day, simple touches such as a pat on the back that leave them wanting more. Short lived holding glances. Eventually, it led up to sex that they didn't want to admit that they weren't even _that_ drunk, if not just a little buzzed.

Having sex sober becomes a more often thing than not. It was something they craved, something that they both needed. At first, once in a while, then a few times a week, and eventually, whenever they got the chance.

There were fights, fights that practically shook an entire motel room that they stayed in. It was especially hard for Dean, because his role was to protect his little brother, not have sex with him. The guilt ate away at his gut. He didn't want this; taking their anger out that they have towards themselves on each other and swearing to _god_ that they need to fucking _stop_ this.

But it's not that simple.

One night, after a long, much needed make up sex session, Sam told Dean that he was in love with him. And that set Dean off, in a way, because this wasn't supposed to happen. It was just sex. No emotions involved. Dean was an expert at having sex with women with no strings attached. But there was something about Sam that tugged on his heartstrings and made him feel dizzy.

_"I know you are," Dean said quietly, looking at the ceiling._

_"Are you in love with me, too?" Sam asked, eyes big and hopeful._

_"Sam, that's a really stupid fucking question," Dean said, with an edge of harshness in his voice._

_Sam looked at him with his emotion unchanged, as if he's not surprised with his brother's response. Dean sighed and looked at him for a really long time._

_"Yeah," he whispered, "I am."_

_Sam nodded and turned his back towards Dean. A small smile crept on his face and he fell asleep._

From then on, mentions of stopping having sex stopped completely, and dating or having sex with other people were out of the question. Fights were less frequent. But their relationship is pretty much unchanged. "I love you" was never said. They continued hunting. Dean wanted to keep professional. But it's not like he had a choice. Dean would love more than anything to put his arm around Sam in public, to tell girls that hit on Sam at the bar to fuck off because he's _his,_ to kiss him whenever he wanted to. But he couldn't.

It's not that simple.

___

Sam never surprised Dean. He knew him like the back of his hand.  
But it's 3 in the morning and they're just finishing a case in James Town when a question that comes out of Sam's mouth almost has Dean driving off the road.

"Come again?" Dean asks.

Sam laughs. "I said, will you go on a date with me?"

Dean shook his head out of confusion. "Where the hell did this come from?"

Sam shrugged. "I dunno, I've been sleeping with you for almost six months now and I've never asked you out on a date."

Dean sighs. "Well, we aren't exactly a stereotypical 'couple,' Sammy," Dean responds, not adding any more because he doesn't want to start an argument and he's really tired.

"Come on, Dean! When have we ever fit in with the terms of society? We fight _monsters_ for christ sakes!"

Dean took this in consideration because, okay, Sam has a point. To society, they are overall considered freaks of nature. But the thing is, Dean has never been in a committed relationship before let alone been on a date. He doesn't know how this shit works. And now he's considering going on a date with his little brother. This could end badly.

"Okay, fine. When do you wanna go on this..date?" Dean asks hesitantly.

Sam stays quiet for a moment. "How about now?"

Dean scowls. "Sam, it's three in the morning! Nothing's open."

"I think there's a diner up the road here that's open late. You hungry?"

Dean groans. He was about to protest and insist they do it another time, like, not three o'clock in the fucking morning. But it's for Sammy. And, okay, he's a little hungry. "There better be pie," he says with a sigh.

___

They drive to the diner and, to Dean's convenience, there's pie. Sam orders a breakfast platter with eggs and toast and gets his hand slapped away when he tries to go for some of Dean's pie.

"You know," Dean pointed out with his mouth full, "I don't really consider this a date. Going to a diner at almost four in the morning isn't exactly 'romantic,' don't you think?"

Sam had his head down and played with the eggs on his plate. "Anywhere is nice with you," he whispers.

Dean has a lot of trouble swallowing the food in his mouth. For a brief moment they share eye contact but it's broken and they finish their food.

Sam pays the bill (well, Mr. Welshman pays for the bill), and they walk out of the diner. When they do, their hands find each other and their fingers interlock. Dean hears Sam chuckling a bit.

"What...What?!" Dean asks defensively. 

Sam laughs, embarrassed. "Nothing, nothing. It's just..I never held hands with you before..it's nice."

Dean's stomach churns. He tells himself it's the pie digesting in his stomach.

When they're driving back to their motel, Dean sparks an idea and drives opposite to where their motel is.

"Uh, Dean, our motel is _that_ way," Sam points out.

Dean smiles. "I know. I wanna show you something."

___

 

They drive for about half an hour, and when they finally get to where Dean's destination was, Sam is left totally confused. There's nothing around them but an open field. "Uh, where are we?" Sam asked.

"Come on, get out of the car, we have to walk from here." Dean says.

 

Without question, Sam gets out of the car, and they walk hand in hand until they reach a really steep hill. They walk up it, and it takes them a while, but when they get to the top, Sam is breath-taken.

 

They are on top of the world, or at least it seems like it. The hill overlooks the entire town, and all the woods and rivers that lie beyond it. the sun is just coming up, which illuminates its beauty so much more.

"How..how did you know this place exists," Sam breathes.

 

Dean looks out at the view, almost not paying attention to Sam. "When we had a case here in James Town a while back, I was alone and I got lost. Found this place on accident. It's so nice here. It makes me feel so small, ya know? Whenever I feel like I'm falling apart and we're in the area of here, I drive up here by myself. To clear my head a little bit."

Dean clenches his jaw and swallows hard. "You know I haven't been here..In a really long time."

Sam looks at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," says Dean. "Because..whenever I feel like I'm falling apart I need to clear my head, I have you."

Sam raised his eyebrows.

"I don't mean just sex. Yeah, sex helps a lot too. But I mean..all I have to do is just look at you and that thousand pound weight on my chest just..goes away."

Dean turns towards Sam and takes his hand in his. "I'm not romantic. Or sweet. Or charming. Hell, Sometimes, I'm not even nice to you. How you put up with me is fucking unbelievable. Like I said to you before, we aren't the stereotypical 'couple.' Not because we fight monsters. But because you're my little brother. How we feel and what we do, it's wrong. This Job, Sammy? Sammy, if I could quit this job and live a normal life, I would, but I can't. Just like I wish I could just quit you, I can't. Because it's not that simple, Sammy."

Dean brushes back Sam's hair from his eyes, and he could see that there are tears forming. His stomach churns again and he feels like he's threatening to form tears himself.

"I can't..I'm _not_ gonna stand here and promise you that we are gonna be 'together forever and always.' Because if society won't tear us apart, something will. Until the day every monster and person in the world hold hands and sing 'kumbaya,' I can't fucking promise that. I can't. Sammy, God, please, look at me."

There are tears running down Sam's face now, and he's refusing to look at Dean. Dean holds on to Sam's chin and turns his face towards his. Now tears are definitely threatening to form on Dean's end and his chest is growing heavier by the second.

"If there's something I can promise, that I can swear to fucking god, is that I will always, _always_ love you. Together or apart. Sammy, I love you so much sometimes it fucking scares me. And I never said that I won't fight for you and that I'm not gonna try everything in my power to keep us together. Because I am."

Sam smiled, and that thousand pound weight on Dean's chest lifted, something only his Sammy can do.

They share a long kiss, and Dean asks Sam if he wants to go back to the motel. He nods.

___

 

When they get back, it's early morning, and they're exhausted. They have cases that they should be working on, people to talk to, but that can wait until after they get sleep.

They crawl into bed together, and Dean kisses Sam's forehead. "I love you," Sam says tiredly.

"And I love you." It's not complex when he says it back, and it doesn't take much thought. As if it were the simplest thing he's ever done in his life.


End file.
